Yesterday my mom went to the doctor to get a cough checked out. Turns out her blood pressure was through the roof. It was so high that her doctor walked her to the emergency room. She spent hours there while they ran tests and found nothing. They drugged her up and sent her home. When she was home she seemed fine. Then this morning, she kept throwing up and was complaining about stomach pains. Then I left for school and heard nothing until six oclock. Apparently, in those nine hours, her stomach pains got so bad that she couldn’t move without screaming in pain. According to my little sister, it took three people to get her to the car so that they could bring her to the emergency room. She was hooked up to an IV, blood pressure meter, and oxygen at the last update that I got. I’m still stuck at school so I’m depending on updates from my sisters. However, they are both going home for the night, so I’m stuck being worried all night. I just need a hug and a good cry right now. I’m so grateful for all of my friends who have been texting me, asking me for updates, and just showing their support. It’s like my second family. I don’t know what I would be doing if they weren’t here for me. <3

I don’t know how I feel right now.

I’m worried about my mom. I’m sad that Ashley seemed to have a bad birthday. I’m pissed for reasons I don’t want to explain. I feel like crying. I feel like yelling at someone. I feel like throwing something against the ground. I feel like just laying under the stars. I feel like going for a walk. I want to run away from it all. I really hate feelings. I hate how once I feel any emotion other than happy, every other emotion piles on. It’s impossible for me to just be sad, or just be mad. I end up being sad, mad, worried, afraid, everything. And it sucks.